Wednesday, July 18, 2012

The skin shoes

I take an inordinate amount of time to get ready. In the morning, in the evening--really whenever I'm getting ready for anything, it's going to take a while. So, you might as well grab a drink and relax. We are going to be 30 minutes late for everything, mmkay?

My beauty routine runs like a finely tuned machine, so most of the time it's the outfit selection part of getting ready that creates the problem. I just cannot make up my mind. Also, everything I put on makes me look stupid/fat/weird/some other judgemental adjective.

So, I like to gather a second opinion to ensure I am making the right choice. There is only one other person at my house who is capable of expressing opinions using their words, so my husband is the clear winner of this particular job. But really? He doesn't have an opinion. He says everything looks great, but not because everything I wear looks great. It's because he wanted to leave 15 minutes ago.

This morning, I was stuck on selecting the right shoe for my outfit. I trounced out of my closet, wearing two different shoes and asked which shoe I should wear. He looked down and quickly said:

"The skin shoes."

Skin shoes? Oh. He meant these, my snakeskin shoes.

Which, technically, could be skin shoes. Except no one wants to buy shoes that are simply called 'skin shoes.' This is why marketing is so important.

Also? The veins in my feet are pretty gross. And? I just noticed the carpet almost matches my shoes. Skin carpet, anyone?

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