Thursday, June 28, 2012

Honda: Giving me Premenopausal Hot Flashes Since 2008



See this? It's my car. I love my car very much. It handles like a dream, gets great gas mileage and is peppy and wonderful. We are practically soulmates, my car and I.
I simply adore my automobile, plain and simple. I am obsessed with its XM satellite radio. I can't get enough of my sunroof. I pine for my luxury leather seats.
And the fact that those luxiorious seats are heated is really the cat's meow. Once you have heated seats, you will be forever spoiled by them. Unheated seats really won't do for you and your fancy tastes (and nether regions) once exposed to the pure decadance that is seats with heats in them.

But there is just one teeny-weeny-little-tiny-minor problem I have with my heated seats. It's truly small and minor, but it drives me completely insane:



That, dear friends, is what is commonly referred to as a rocker switch.

The rocker switch is in the off position when both sides are sticking up.
But the problem with rocker switches?

Oh, the problem.

The problem is that it is very, very easy to hit them with you hand. Particularly when they are mounted in what could only be called a high traffic area of my car. I created this amazing collage to show you the various states in which the rocker switch exists in my car:



As you will notice, Just Chillin' and Waiting 'Til It's 100 Degrees are pretty much the same thing. The Rocker Switch is ready and waiting to burn me at any moment. It's like driving with a King Cobra on my dashboard or something.

I accidently turn them on All The Freaking Time By Just Doing Normal Car Stuff. Like driving. Or, reaching for gum. Or putting my car in park. Ironically, my menopausal hot flashes Rocker Switch Incidents always seem to happen when it's 100 million degrees outside. And I think I'm going through early menopause at the bitter old age of twenty-eight and three-fourths. I get all hot and sweaty and I think I'm going insane. (Which is, honestly, really very possible.)

And I can't help but think: who is the really, really smart person who designed the Rocker Switch Heated Seat Situation? I know they are at least twelve billion times smarter than me and they likely went through all kinds of scenarios and tests and important focus groups to arrive at this design. The Rocker Switch Heated Seats are a good idea, said someone important as they placed a large stamp that says "APPROVED" on it.

I am not an engineer and really I'm not smart enough to design anything that would be safe enough to house human beings at high rates of speed, but I can talk until my face turns a lovely shade of blue on the stupidity of the Switch Situation.

Because really? I'm far too young to have a hot flash every time I drive my car.

1 comment:

Christina @ The Athletarian said...

This made me laugh! I have a Honda too but (luckily?) I don't have the heated seats option!

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