My BFF Oprah likes to say that your life is always speaking to you. Perhaps it's a whisper or maybe it's a brick wall that crumbles around you. It usually starts out as a whisper, then progresses to wall-like magnitude if you don't get the hint. Regardless, you need to get the hint--or you will be faced with disaster.
I think about this a lot: what is my life saying to me? Am I listening, or just simply going through the motions so that I can reach my destination? I was reminded of what my life has told me for years now as the football season drew to a close. My better half, the football coach, just wrapped up his first season as head coach.
We did not win a single game. Last year, we did not win a single game either.
It's not easy to face such a dire situation, you see. Sure, the game is not about winning--no, it's about much more than that. But, wouldn't it be nice to just win a few here and there?
Perhaps. But on one especially cold and dire evening, I reminded my husband of something he already knew: he and his team were smack dab in the middle of an important life lesson. Sure, those boys probably have no idea and maybe the adults don't either, but they were learning something incredibly important: things don't always turn out the way you imagined. And really, that's OK.
I know this because it took understanding that we are not in control of our destiny to get it. Who is more prepared to explain what it means to not have something you desperately want than my husband? Maybe it's not fair, or there could be some other way to "get it" but I don't believe that's for us to decide.
It's like watching the seasons change again; I tried to hang on to summer for as long as I could. Really, I did. But, it's not within my control. Time will pass, the years will drag on and I'm a fool to resist it. I think the changing seasons remind me that despite the flip of my calendar, it feels like we are still waiting to adopt and making little, if any, progress.
Time, as you probably know, has an amazing power to heal us. To separate us by distance and time from the things that have wounded us. It doesn't make them any less painful or less real, it just helps us to understand that the world doesn't stop for us. Or, that we can slowly move on from something that feels like it will never stop haunting us. I think a lot about what I have to learn, or how I could move on and I would say that my greatest healer has been my greatest obstacle: the passing of time. It really does heal you if you give it the chance. I hate waiting, but I know it's part of the experience. It's more rewarding this way. It means more to work for it.
My life has told me for years what I refused to hear: I'm not in control. I cannot control everything, or anything when it comes to the progression of my life. Things don't always fall exactly into place. You cannot take your blessings for granted. But most importantly: your greatest heartache will someday be your sweetest blessing.
"When you can see obstacles for what they are, you never lose faith in the path it takes to get you where you want to go. Who you're meant to be evolves from where you are right now. So learning to appreciate your best lessons, mistakes and setbacks as stepping stones to the future is a clear sign you're moving in the right direction and letting in the light.” –Oprah Winfrey