Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Blocked.

I have always despised the term "Writer's Block," because I feel it creates this false sense of lacking creativity. I am a writer. With every shred of my being, I love to write. It has always come easily to me, most of the time. But like anything else creative, the inspriration in writing comes and goes, much like the ebb and flow of anything else in our lives. I cannot write on demand. I can't create things that do not exist--they have to come to me.

Typically, they come to me at the strangest times. Like, in the midst of a Jillian Michaels torture session. Or, in the car. Also, on a run. These times, where I never have a piece of paper to write down my thoughts, is where I do my very best work. I think in order to be inspired, to tell the world your side of the story, you have to actually get out there. Whether it's taking a walk or sitting on the front porch, taking it all in never fails to leave me feeling inspired. Or, annoyed. Whatever gives me material, really.

However, it's a delicate balance. My job, at its core, is to write. My passion is also writing. However, I have to separate the two---my job is one thing and my personal passion for writing about whatever I choose is quite another. Sometimes, I do not posess enough creativity to go around. This has been the case lately. I find myself stopping and starting blog posts, or debating whether or not to even hit the "publish post" button.

Monday's post was one of those moments. I spent days (really, I did) thinking about deleting what I wrote. I sometimes feel like I write the same thing over and over again, just wrapped in a different package. I sometimes wonder if people get tired of hearing me complain about my inability to have children or grow tired of hearing me wish I could change something entirely out of my control. Even I get tired of it somedays. But's it's life---my life--and this is just part of my journey.

I can't quite put my finger on what it is, but I haven't felt as inspired as usual lately. Maybe it's the craziness of my personal life (and the start of football season) but when things get hectic, my creativity wanes. Luckily, it isn't gone forever; it's just taking a break.

After all, don't we all deserve a break?

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