I will just admit it right up front: I'm vain. Not totally vain, but just enough for you to notice. I've been using anti-aging creams on my face since I was 20. At 27, I legitimately worry about forehead wrinkles. I stare at myself in the rear view mirror of my car when I should be doing other things, like driving. I do my hair every morning. I'm always wearing makeup, even if we're just going to the hardware store (I see people I know at Lowe's, OK?) and I like clothing. And jewelry. And I like things, especially in my home and on my body, to look nice. It's just who I am. I like to think that I'm sorta vain, but mostly--I just care a bit too much.
But, you live in the middle of nowhere, you're probably saying to yourself. Surely, there is no room for vanity or an over abundance of self-involved thoughts in a rural locale! To which I say: there's plenty of room for everyone and their increasingly large head in this town. I mean, my yard alone is 1.148 acres! That's a normal, average-sized yard in these parts. My yard, if you will, is not larger than my neighbor's yard. You know, the ones who have 35 deer that they keep as pets. Or, the other neighbors who own a herd of buffalo. They have the biggest yard of all yards, if this is a competition. Which, of course, it is.
There's a lot of room for a lot of things in my yard, including me and my ego, my dog and all the hair she sheds and my husband, who really doesn't take up much room. But this is where the road diverges a bit. You see, I'm interested in doing things that look nice, while my husband is more interested in things that "make sense" or "have logic."
So, when the snow plow completely destroyed our mailbox recently, we faced a fork in the road. It's annoying when the mailbox dies at the hands of the snow plow because it means we can't get mail. And I love mail. Also, I like having a mailbox. You know, for the mail delivery. It's also annoying because our mailbox is destroyed by the snow plow just about every year, much like a birthday celebration or anniversary of some kind. It's tradition!
This tradition typically evokes some feelings of disdain at our house, mostly because I want the mailbox to look nice and be in its proper place near the road at all times. My husband likes to "think things through" and "come up with solutions" instead of immediate action. I always do everything while flying upon the seat of my pants, which really is the opposite of those very specific traits.
So, I did what any wife would do: instead of waiting for my husband to feel like repairing the mailbox, I offered to fix the mailbox myself. I can't fix anything so this was just the motivation required to instill some of my down home, vanity-inspired traits in my non-vain husband. Because he's not vain, but he does realize I cannot fix anything. Including dinner.