Tuesday, October 19, 2010
A mouse, a frog and a roach walk into a bar...
Actually, I'm just going to admit this up front: that's a lie. The mouse, the frog and the roach actually did not walk into a bar. They didn't order drinks. There weren't any stools for them to sit on. There wasn't a bartender with a towel. There were no top shelf or well options. Or, draft beer.
So, what was there? Well, there was my garage. And an assortment of glue traps. Remember the last time I set up glue traps? Yeah, you do. This happened. For the record, I still maintain that I wouldn't poop my pants if I was stuck in a glue trap. You know, because I buy the variety that features soothing anesthetic. For a less painful and more peaceful ease into Kingdom Come. It's worth the investment, if you ask me.
But, that last foray into disturbing sights in my garage was months ago. Just a distant memory, really. Until it all came crashing back into my brain yesterday when I beheld a most disturbing sight: it was a virtual cornucopia of dead or dying animals stuck into a glue trap. After a few moments of wondering whether I should cry, vomit or run away, I took a closer look. The glue trap had trapped the following creatures:
1. A small, dead frog
2. An incredibly large, dead cockroach
3. A screaming mouse (that had not, in fact, sh*t itself)
I suppose you could say my trap, yet again, did its job. But that's doesn't negate the fact that I do (seriously!) have feelings and felt great sorrow in the death and destruction occurring in the home for our vehicles. None of those things really did anything to deserve my glue traps, but alas their days were numbered.
While I might be 27 years old, I more closely resemble a 7 year-old in the majority of situations and penned the following e-mail to my husband:
There are crazy things happening in our garage: I caught a mouse, a frog and what I believe to be the world's largest cockroach (it was the same size as the mouse) in a glue trap today.
His response was simple and to the point:
I guess I'm impressed, but I can't help but wonder something haunting about this scenario. What did that poor frog do to deserve such savagery?