Friday, October 22, 2010

Crying, much like a wolf

{Smirking, blue-eyed wolf from here}

In my mind, every single thing that is "wrong" with me is an emergency. Like, my head pounds when I stand up too quickly and I probably have a brain tumor. Or, my elbow is acting funny and I think I have a hairline fracture from all those kettlebell throws I've been doing lately. I'm so worried about all the nothing that I'm sure when the something comes along, no one will believe me. I really have been crying wolf just about every moment of my life, really.

I'm a whiny baby. I complain. A lot. Sure, there are "real" and "actual" things that are medically wrong with me that have been confirmed by medical professionals. Like, my crazy and broken thyroid gland. Or, my too-high-for-their-own-good hormone levels. Or, my jacked up uterus. Real stuff. Not life-threatening stuff, just stuff. Stuff that is really and actually wrong, but will not likely cause my death prior to the age of 94.

So in the interest of living to said ripe old age, I elected to get a flu shot yesterday. Miracle of miracles, it was painless! I didn't feel a thing! The stick of the needle was just fine, as was its removal. Fine. I was both footloose AND fancy-free yesterday. Others complained, had to sit down, looked away and almost passed out. But me? ME! I did none of the aforementioned behaviors. I made jokes and appreciated that I only had to get one shot for THREE vaccines. Even H1N1! But not Bieber Fever, unfortunately. I even went for a jaunty 6 mile run afterwards, that was how fantastic and wonderful I was feeling and looking.

But that was yesterday. That was before I reached for the cinnamon in the cabinet above the oven to sprinkle on my delicious oatmeal this morning and thought perhaps someone had shot me in the upper arm. It's probably just a flesh wound, but still. Because I'm telling you, that easy and breezy flu shot from yesterday is aching and breaking something fierce today. I even have a bruise. A bruise! Oh, and I think that I'm dying. Because lifting my arm above my shoulder makes me think that my muscles are rotting from the inside out from that flu shot. Can it rot my muscles? Was it inserted into the wrong portion of my smaller than average arm? Maybe there was an air bubble? Perhaps the medicine is just sitting in my muscles, rendering it completely useless.

There's a lot of worry about, really. Except the threat of Influenza Types A, B and H1N1. No worries there.


Betsy Doenges said...

Your great!

Anonymous said...

Let me tell you- I hate shots, too! They're awful! Especially the IM kind!!!! ~Katy


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