Thursday, September 2, 2010

On Canning.

I did not grow up in a household that had a mother who engaged in an activity known as "canning." We didn't dance the can-can and we didn't can things. It was just the way things went.

However, when I moved with my better half to our current locale I began to realize that this "canning" stuff was both rampant and quite popular. I knew this was the case when we began looking for a house. One house in particular caused an alarm in my brain to sound. It had two kitchens; one upstairs and one in the basement.

"Who in their right mind would want TWO kitchens?" I practically screamed as I saw my husband drooling over the man cave basement with the full kitchen. "Seriously, I hate cleaning one kitchen. Why would I want to clean TWO KITCHENS?!?"

Then, innocently enough he replied, "Well, this can be your CANNING kitchen!"

Needless to say, we did not buy that house. We bought a different house, one that does not have a canning kitchen. To be fair, some days I actually wish we had said kitchen. Like when my snow white Corian brand sink is stained with _______ juice.

My husband is really, really interested in canning things. I say "things" because it's not just one item that is being canned. Take this weekend for example: he canned homemade BBQ sauce and blueberry juice. A few weeks ago it was pickles and spicy, pickled baby carrots. You read that correctly. And yes, as you probably are imagining, they are disgusting.  Then last night, he canned peaches. Lots and lots of peaches. Which always makes me think of this Will Ferrell skit (and repeatedly say, "Awww PEACHES!"):

Oh, and did you know that when you buy a really large box filled with peaches there is always a prize at the bottom? Especially when you leave them in the basement and completely forget about them to ripen for 4 days. That prize is called MOLD. And it's disgusting. And hairy.

Don't get me wrong. Please, anything but that: having fresh, delicious things to eat is awesome. I'm almost positive that some cold, December morning I will have a hankering for blueberry juice and will thank my lucky stars that I have 724632 pint jars of it at my disposal in my underground bunker.


BEAR's Mom said...

My mom was a i do miss those things since she's gone...peaches, red beets, tomatoes, tomato juice,'s an acquired taste...i saw her do it and it was W.O.R.K. I run to the store for V8 :D


3 Giggly Monsters said...

Hello I am a new follower from TOMT. I would love a follow back at

Shelli said...

I SOOOO want to try canning! I'm not "country" living girl AT ALL, but would really like to try making some home made jam!!

By the way... you have a Blog Award!

Missy Salsa said...

New follower from Think of me Thursday. Feel free to check out my blog.

Shelley said...

I am your newest follower from the Thursday blog. I am so excited to learn to can. We are moving to 10 acres next summer and I can't wait to do all that stuff. I think you are funny and have the same humor as I. I hope you can follow me back at
God Bless,

The Higgenbottom said...

during the apocalypse, i'm totally hiding out in your basement. you guys are well prepared


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