Thursday, September 16, 2010

I'm your biggest fan

{Photo from here}

I have a tumultuous relationship with the devices in our home. It's like they hate me and really have no intention of hiding their true feelings. Like when the washing machine literally chewed up and spat out my bra. Or, the time our really gross and incredibly old oven refused to die so it could be replaced. Then, there was the moment our vacuum cleaner stopped sucking--and it was a bad thing.

But as of late, it's the ceiling fan in our bedroom that is starting to turn on me. And I don't mean that as a joke. But it is funny, right? Anyway. A ceiling fan, particularly in one's bedroom, really is a fantastic thing. It's soothing. It's calming. It creates a delightful breeze. Really, who doesn't love a ceiling fan? That's right: no one.

Our ceiling fan is nothing special to look at, but it's a delightful fixture. Recently, though, it has begun to act like a stubborn child. At one time, there were at least five fan speeds to choose from, ranging from barely moving all the way up to what I can only describe as "Mach 5." Currently, just one speed is available for usage and ironically, it's Mach 5. Really? Really! That's all there is to offer, hope you enjoy sleeping inside of a wind tunnel! That's not something I enjoy, so we just stopped using the fan entirely.

Then, last night the fan began acting normal again. There were plenty of speeds to choose from! All five even! Pick your favorite, proclaimed our ceiling fan! Sounds great, fan. Thanks, old pal. So, my husband went to bed to read and enjoy the cool breezes of the ceiling fan while I caught up on quality programs like Oprah and Rehab: Party at the Hard Rock Hotel. Stop judging me, it's a good show. Promise.

After I had thoroughly removed twenty brain cells from watching reality TV garbage, I headed to bed. To find a peculiar scene: the ceiling fan was smoking. And it wasn't a cigarette. And somehow, no one but me seemed alarmed by this particular issue.

Me: The ceiling fan is smoking and it smells like burning in here.
Astute Observer: What? I don't know what you're talking about?
Me: Smoke. Fire. Death.
AO: Yeah, I guess now that you mention it I probably smell and see smoke or something.

Right. Or something. So, in true fashion I proceeded to freak out. Because my greatest fear is evacuating my home after it has caught on fire. What would I take? How would the dog get out? Should I get her leash? What about my clothing? Should I grab our wedding photos? What about my jewelry? See, this is why it's good to be paranoid. And a good planner!

So, we turned the fan off and I began staring at it, waiting for the inevitable bursting into flames that was about to happen on the ceiling above my bed. It never happened. My favorite astute observer calmed my fears by explaining, "Nothing is on fire. It's just a little smoke."

Um, haven't you heard the old saying? You know, the one that assures you that the only way you will see/smell smoke is if there is a fire nearby? Hmm?


Nikki said...

That is scary! I'd say you are absolutely right in being worried about the smell of smoke! We have a ceiling fan and I love it but I get worried about it falling for some reason, weird I know...I don't know why!

Ruth said...

I have that exact same fan! Thanks for the visit, I'm following you back!

KyAnn (like Cayenne Pepper, only HOTTER) said...

Found you on one of the Thursday Follows. I'm your newest follower on your super awesome blog! I'll be back (in my best Arnold voice).


BEAR's Mom said...

I'm with you...I also freak at the first smell or sight of smoke...where there's smoke there's fire...replace the FAN :D

Have a SAFE weekend!


Sofia said...

Found you over @ FF. I'm your new follower! Come visit and follow back!

From PDX with Love"

Colie's Kitchen said...

Hi I am Nicole from I found you on a blog hop and wanted to drop by and say hi. I really like your blog, and am now a new follower. I would love to have you stop by Colie’s Kitchen if you get a chance.


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