Tuesday, August 3, 2010

What we're doing now

After much thought, some crying and lots of talkin' to Jesus, we have committed to making a large decision that will likely change the course of life as we know it.




We are going to adopt a child.

I've begun to hint at it, like when I talked about waiting here and taking a big step there, but I have this "thing" about just admitting things before alluding to them for weeks on end. It probably comes off as being completely annoying (you can tell me if it is, I have emotions of steel and a heart made entirely of coal) but...I just don't know how to talk about things like this. Well, I have ideas from a literary standpoint, I just don't want to be that whiny infertile lady who's always whining about her infertile-ness and ovaries. Er, something like that.

I have a minor complex when it comes to admitting that I'm not perfect. It's not that I think I'm perfect, it's that I'm constantly chasing this dream of trying to be the perfect everything, which we all know is completely impossible. Just when I thought I was almost perfect (har!) I found out we couldn't have children and I realized that (duh) I'm not perfect. Never was, never will be, so on and so forth. It brought me down a notch in more ways that one, mostly because it made me realize that no matter how hard I try--and believe me, I try--I'm ultimately not in control of my life's path. It's God's plan, not mine.

It can be a tough concept to swallow, but I'm getting there. I'm still that work in progress, chugging along day by day, working to put the agony of the road behind us--well, behind us. The thing about the situation that we're in is that we have very limited options (two to be exact) and those options are both really complicated and really expensive. There's no simple answer, there's no obvious choice and ultimately, either way is a long, painful road. Truthfully, this is what hurts the most. It's not the money, it's not the waiting, it's that it just can't be simple.

When my husband and I sat down to open wedding gifts the day after our wedding, we came across a card that had the most beautiful thing written inside. I'm amazed not only by what it said, but by who it was from. It read:

Always remember: anything worth having always involves hard work.

You can't have a rainbow without a little rain, right? We sent in our adoption application yesterday, which means we have a long, long road of waiting and red tape ahead. I'm OK with that, it just so happens that I have a large umbrella to keep me dry. I'm ready for what life holds for us, even if it's not what I imagined. Even if it means standing in the rain for at least three years. I'll bring my galoshes.

12 comments:

Cevallos Family said...

Congratulations! This will be such an exciting time as you watch God work in you through this process!!

savedbylovecreations.com said...

Hi. I am a new follower from Follow Me Back Tuesday. Great blog. My husband and I are going through a similar situation. It is so to remember He is in control when it is something so important to me. You and your family are in my prayers!

jensays (what would jen do) said...

very exciting time for you two. it's a big decision to make, but a great one

BEAR's Mom said...

Emily, i wish you all the best as you and your husband embark on this journey...

...if it's meant to be...it will be in His time...

you are in my prayers...

~victoria~

Flufferwuffer said...

Emily, I hope everything turns out in the end. This is a huge step, thank you for sharing it with us! You will be in my thoughts...

Also, thank you for thinking of me during my surgery; you obviously have a lot to think of right now. I really appreciate it!

Amanda said...

That's great!

Mom's Review for you said...

I'm following you, I would love if you could follow me!

http://momsreview4you.blogspot.com/

Nickie said...

I think it's awesome that you're looking at adopting. I know some who have adopted and their family is so awesome; they are amazing parents and those kids are so lucky! (and so are Mom and Dad)

I'll pray for you and your family.

Oh, and I'm here from FMBT, and I'm following you on Google and Networked Blogs. I really like your blog and look forward to reading more and getting to know you!

Melinda said...

First off...congrats on your big decision! I just found your blog through FMBT today (and yes, I'm a new follower on both Google Friend and Networked Blogs). I love your blog and will definitely be checking back!

Heather said...

Congratulations on making a great decision! There are so many babies/children that need a good home and I'm sure you can do that for them!
I found your blog on Friendly Friday and am a new GFC and networked blog follower! Can't wait to read more about your journey.

Paula@One Mom's Corner of the World said...

Congratulations! I'm visiting from Friendly Friday. I signed up as a new follower.

Charla @ Healthy Home Blog said...

That is wonderful! I'm so excited for you and your husband! You are in my prayers too! :)

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