Tuesday, August 10, 2010

They should call them floories, not roofies

I do all of my best thinking on the floor. Seriously. When things get chaotic and I feel overwhelmed and the, "We should just sell all of our belongings, including our home and rent a U-Haul and start driving to a random state in the Western United States now!" part of my brain starts to whirl, I lay on the floor. Spread eagle. The dog usually sniffs and licks my face, then joins me. And we lay there. And think. About whatever. Until my husband the rational member of our household tells us to cut it out.

But it's so nice there, on the floor. We don't mind the fact that it's disgusting and covered in black dog hair. It helps us think better. It's like a little, tiny, miniature vacation from reality. Most people do not lay on the floor, because IT'S THE FLOOR. No one likes it down there because that's the gross part of the house where the bottoms of our feet wipe filth everywhere. That's what couches, chairs and ottomans are for. You know, for sitting--like a normal person. But I can't think there, not like I can on the floor. So I lay on the floor, as long as it takes to finish my good thinking. Then, I get up and move on. I like to think that it's a brief time out from walking around and doing exhausting upright thinking. It's quite tiring.

Besides being totally gross, laying on the floor is kinda weird. I mean, most people avoid laying on the floor at all costs. Because we both know that you lay on the floor when you pass out, are too drunk to stand or have some sort of injury that prevents you from standing or walking. The floor is not a desirable locale where you like to hang out on a regular basis. In fact, it's a place that you hope to never hang out unless physically required to do so. Your body, lying on the floor, is typically not a good thing.

Unless, of course, you need to do some serious thinking. Like, considering a new career in beach bummery instead of your actual job. Or, thinking it's logical to want to sell all your material posessions and move to Arizona in a U-Haul. Serious stuff like that. Floor thinking really is a place to get all the crazy stuff out of your head and leave it where it belongs--on the floor. That way, you can stand up and do more rational upright thinking. Everybody knows that people who lay on the floor to think don't exactly have the best ideas, anyway.

9 comments:

Katie said...

You aren't alone. :o) I am a floor layer and sitter.... I have been known to sit on floors in stores to figure things out... or if I am really looking at something down low... I don't crouch... I sit.

BEAR's Mom said...

Sweetie you are lucky you can sit on the floor...with my knees...if i get down...i'm not gettin' back up :D

~victoria~

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