Monday, July 12, 2010

You could use some cake

For most of us, we tend to receive compliments on the same thing over and over again. This makes us feel like this thing people like is really great. As in, "You have beautiful eyes." or "I just love your hair!" for example. For me, I get compliments on things that I really would say are not compliments. They're sorta judgements dressed up in a nice suit, masquerading as a compliment.

Things people say to me:

"You're really skinny."

"How are you so skinny?"

"What's your secret to being skinny?"

"Could you please tell me what you eat every day?"

"You have old man interesting hands."

"Why are your arms/wrists/ankles/legs so small?"

Then there's the kid selling baked goods outside of the grocery store who screamed this across the parking lot: "Hey skinny lady! Buy some cake! You could use some cake!"

I am skinny. My legs are stilts. I have a stumpy torso and long, skinny arms, long stick legs and the wrists of a small child. I have man hands with bulging veins. I have always had these things. My mother has them. My sister has them. My brothers have them. My aunts, uncle and grandmother have them. No secrets here, people: I just exist and these things magically happen. It's like real magic, but with less glitter and fewer rabbits in hats.

For reference, here are famous people with arms and old man hands like me:

Angelina Jolie {photo from here}

Madonna / Sarah Jessica Parker {photo from here}

Don't worry, I'm totally aware of the fact that the world as a whole thinks these women have gross arms and disgusting hands. It's cool. I am a proud member of the Gross Arms and Hands Club of America and we're meeting today to plan our next move in taking over the world, one veiny arm at a time. Prepare yourself.

In a world where skinny is cool and everyone seems to be completely obsessed with their bodies and the body of every female celebrity in existence, no one ever asks someone how they stay so darn fat. The point is: there's no secret. There's no magic formula. I don't wake up and jump 5 times on one foot, pat my head twice and spin in 12 circles. I have good genes. I eat real food. I eat dessert. I drink wine. I run. But, the real point is this: none of this matters. I like my lanky arms and legs, because they distract you from my miniature torso. I am destined to forever wear pants that are too short and never find a bracelet that fits. It's OK. I think I'll make it.

Whatever you are, whoever you are: just be you.


BEAR's Mom said...

Oh this is so funny...taking over the world one veiny arm at a time!!!
I remember my mom's veiny hands and how she was so self conscious of them...
now moi...i love bracelets...but i have HUGE wrists...i can't wear bracelets...i wear anklets on my wristlets :D LOL
enjoy your blog...

Donda said...

It's not very often that you find someone that talks about their skinny like it is a bad thing. I am guessing those comments and questions would get just as old as the ones that are made towards people who are overweight. I would probably be one of the guilty ones that want to feed you a box of Twinkies everyday! :)

Haupi said...

I don't think your top is so disproportionate from your've got long legs. You look fine to me. But Madonna and Sarah Jessica Parkers...not so much. I recent saw Sarah Jessica Parker recently on the view and Yikes..she looked so unbelieveably thin (and isn't the tv supposed to put 10 lbs. on you) with dull blue legs...I felt bad for her - honestly.

Jennifer Sikora said...

I am your newest follower. Visit me at

Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

I think I hate the nicest possible way, of course! :) I understand what you are saying...sort of...My sister is very much like you...I am not, so while I'm probably not "fat" I've always been the "fat" sister. While she is far more active than me, even if our activity level was the same, she'd still be are right, it's just genetics!

I'm your newest follower from TTA!

Steph S. said...

Stopping in from Tuesday Following - and obviously, I'm following because I can TOTALLY relate! I'm a complete sugar addict, but i exercise my tail off - like you, I have skinny legs and arms, and a tiny little torso - kinda like a spider, haha. I get the same questions, too, and it irritates me so much! I love my skinny little bird legs!

Tracy F. said...

I am following you from Tuesday Tag-Along. I just love your blog!


Homemom3 said...

following from Tuesday Tag-along. I must say you look fine the way you are. My mom had the vein hands, but looks like I took after my dad, at least for now. Oh for me it is the, "You have such a pear shape to your figure." This is NOT a good thing, at least not to me. I think we all have our faults that others comment on and we hate. But it makes us all different. I can't believe that kid said that though. Makes ya wonder about his family.


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