The other day, my husband said something really unassuming to me. He suggested that, perhaps, I should find a hobby. The thing about my husband is that he finds great satisfaction and happiness in having a full-time job, having another full-time job and working on his master's degree all at once. He likes to be busy. He has ants in his pants. I'm OK with this, because the thing about me is that I also have ants in my pants. I just have like half of a colony of ants in my pants and he has like two colonies in his pants. Lemmetellya, that's a lot of ants.
What I would refer to as his second full-time job is what others might call "coaching high school football." This occupies much of his free time (Ha! Free time! What's that?) and therefore leaves me often needing a hobby. But the other thing about me is that one of my current hobbies is watching horrible reality television, which includes every offshoot of the Real Housewives franchise. Real Housewives of New York is, of course, no exception to this hobby of mine. One of the superior lines from this past season of said show is Bethenny Frankel, chef and smarty pants extraordinaire, telling one Jill Zarin that she needs to "Get a hobby" instead of being all up in her business all the time.
So, in true reality show watching fashion, I assumed that my husband was implying that I am Jill Zarin of Zarin Fabrics and need to get a hobby. But I don't WANT to be Jill. I want to be Bethenny. I want to be saucy, witty and have a New York Times Bestselling book and be so busy that I don't have time for a hobby. That's who I want to be.
My husband of course has no free time to have a hobby like watching reality show television, so it's incredibly safe to say that he had no idea what I was talking about when I asked him if he was implying that I am Jill Zarin. I am a lot of things, but I am not Jill Zarin.