A vacation just isn't a vacation if there is not a salt-filled body of water and sandy beach nearby. It might as well be a law: all vacation requirements include sun, sand and ocean. End of story. Sorry. This isn't a debate, it's me forcing my preconceived ideas upon you because they are fact.
So, you can imagine my surprise when words began spewing out of my mouth and I agreed to pack up my belongings and attend two vacations this summer that do not involve me planting my bony rear end in a lounge chair near an ocean.
First, I will jet off to Las Vegas, Nevada AKA The Middle of Nowhere for a girl's trip. I've never been to The Middle of Nowhere (although where I live could be referred to by the same name) but I hear it's a good time. I also hear that The Middle of Nowhere has little, if no, water as it is really just a gigantic dry pile of sand. But, like they say, it's a dry heat! My crazy insane curly hair likes the sound of that!
Then, I will Mazda 3 it (yes, driving my car is called that) to Upstate New York with my husband to stay in old houses and drink wine by the Finger Lakes. Oh, and also to fulfill my life's dream of attending the Baseball Hall of Fame!!!! All those exclamation points are to further reinforce my actual, not faked, excitement about spending 12 hours meandering through a gigantic shrine to all things baseball!!
So, it's safe to say that the closest to sand that my rough heels will come this summer is when I get a pedicure at the nearest salon. I have accepted this fact and have attempted to offset it by adoring my body and life with beachy items that allow me to pretend I am still in Miami, Florida. As a reference, the last time I was in Miami was 2005.
So, to make up for it, I recently purchased THIS super adorable starfish-adorned necklace:
Photo from target.com
Then, because I am incapable of buying just one thing, I also bought these swoon-worthy kicks:
Then, as if the fashion gods themselves were commanding me to purchase even MORE beachy stuff, a White House Black Market catalog arrived in the mail yesterday and I began squealing with delight. It was totally beachy and awesome. If it didn't cost approximately one arm and half a leg, I would have purchased this last night:
Photo from whitehouseblackmarket.com
For serious, wouldn't I be the most charming person on earth with that necklace? People would stop and stare at me, thinking I had just returned from my annual trip to the Hampton's, no?
No. Not really. Everyone would think I'm weird because I would realistically be wearing it to some awful chain restaurant or mega superstore where everyone else is either wearing a.) Camo gear, b.) Shorts with words on the butt region or c.) A t-shirt with an illustrated wolf howling at the moon.
"...I tend to think of myself as a one man wolf pack."
So, if you need me for anything I'll be pretending that this wasn't nearly three years ago. Oh, and dreaming about how awesome The Baseball Hall of Fame will be: