Tuesday, May 11, 2010

For Whom the Bell Tolls

Every year, my husband and I head to Chicago for New Year's. We have partaken in this particular ritual for several years now and have realized that the Land of Lincoln is far different than The Buckeye State. Land of Lincoln firmly believes that its drivers should pay tolls to do things like driving on the road. Pssh, Buckeye State lets us do that for free, yo!

So, because we are rebels without a cause, we elected to gallivant throughout the state and failed to pay a few measly tolls. In 2009. Also, in 2010. In our defense, the first two were blatant skip outs because we were told a few skip outs wouldn't amount to anything. For the last three we had a friend's iPass, but failed to understand how that new-fangled contraption worked and basically went through scott-free. Until today, that is. Scotting for free is now denied until further notice.

Turns out, Land of Lincoln has a good memory. How does that go again? Lincoln never forgets? Honest elephant? I wish I knew a witty line to describe the fact that we just got SERVED via the United States Postal Service today.

A crisp, white letter arrived addressed to yours truly today from the friendly folks at the Illinois Tollway. Actually, it arrived to who yours truly was almost 3 years ago before I changed my name to its current German moniker via marriage. This letter aint no joke. It's all quoting sections of the Illinois Toll Highway Act and providing me with photographic evidence of my blatant failure to follow said Act and stuff.

Then, for good measure, said letter reminded me how I managed to basically take a big, stinking you-know-what upon the great state of Illinois by not paying tolls:

"Toll evasion is a public, strict liability and vicarious liability violation."

Vicarious? Sheesh, the only thing I'm interested in doing in a vicarious manner is to live through my children someday by enrolling them in pageants. NOT violate Section 10/10(a-5) of The Illinois Toll Highway Act AND sections 2520.269(e) and 2520.750 of the Illinois Administrative Code! I wouldn't dare!

Then, to further illustrate my stupidity, the notice reminded me of how much cheaper it would have been to just pay the damn tolls in the first place. Oh, what's that? I skipped out on 5 tolls amounting to $3.30, but with the mandatory $20 fine per violation I now owe Land of Lincoln $103.30? I'm no math whiz, but that sure sounds good to me!

All I ask, dear Illinois Tollway, is that you do not spend the entirety of my hard-earned donation in one place. Oh, and if it's for road improvements in an important location could ya do me a solid and like slap my name on a sign or something? Oh, but not my maiden name, my real name PLZ and TANK YOU.

5 comments:

SCMOMOF2BOYS said...

Hi, I'm here from Tuesday Tag Along and I'm enjoying your blog and look forward to following you!!

Please follow me, too.
http://themommytimes-scmomof2boys.blogspot.com/

Ott, A. said...

I was just stopping by from Tag-along-Tuesday's and I really like your blog and am happy to be your newest follower. I come from the state inbetween the Buckeye state and the land of Lincoln. You'll have to stop by for a cup of "Latte' with Ott, A." Happy blogging!!!

Heather said...

Oh. They GOTCHA!!

Nice to meet you. I hope you will stop by.

BEAR's Mom said...

stopping by via TTA...enjoyed your story about the toll booth :D
I'm going to be a follower...I make shabby vintage greeting cards...stop by and check me and BEAR out :D
Victoria

Lorilynne said...

Yeah, here in Florida we have tolls everywhere too. You really can't get anywhere without paying at least one but usually more like 3. The plus side is we don't have to file state tax returns. Although I'm wondering if we're actually saving any money or time by paying tolls versus paying the state taxes once a year.....

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