Tuesday, April 13, 2010

In my next life

There is a theory that some individuals subscribe to that says each of us was someone else in a "previous life." Most of the time, this theory is super awesome when it's someone exciting or famous.

As in, I was Amelia Earhart in my previous life before I disappeared in a cloud of smoke in the sky and died and came back as just plain old Emily.

Does it count that I even *chose* the name "Amelia" for myself in 10th grade Spanish class? Because that's who I was in my other life, duh. It's gotta be true, it's just gotta!

OK, so you can tell that I think this theory is pretty dumb. When I die, I am not anticipating that any shred of me will ever return to this Earth as someone or something else.

With that being said, I have spent the last 5 years observing our Lab mix Rudi and I am thoroughly convinced that she was one of those old people you see on the beach that looks like a piece of well-oiled leather in a previous life. I came to this conclusion for one very specific reason: she is completely and utterly obsessed with laying in the sun. I mean, if there a miniscule square of sun on the floor that is like THIS big, she will find it and she WILL lay in it for all eternity. As in, until she comes back in her next life as Lindsay Lohan someone who looks like an old catcher's mitt.

On a typical day, Rudi can be found doing something like this:

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Has anyone seen my doggy sunscreen around here?

When she's not baking in the sun on that side of the house, she's baking in the sun on the other side of the house. Or, she's begging to go outside like she's dying a slow, painful death so she can lay spread eagle on the deck for hours on end.

If she had thumbs, I'm completely convinced that she would make this for herself:

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GTL, the low-budget way.

To further solidify my theory, she does other things that old people enjoy. Like this:

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I need a rest after a long, stressful day at the office

Then again, it's likely that she is completely exhausted. You know, from being forced to do things like this:
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Does this make my muscles look big?

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